Page Title

As the Diving Officer, you occasionally receive strange telephone calls. Some times there is the odd one which brings a smile to your face……and this was one of them.

I was busy doing nothing, minding my own business in the office when my mobile disturbed my peace and quite. "I got your name off the BSAC website, I wonder if you can help me locate my lawnmower?" came the voice at the other end. There was a pause while I suppressed my laughter and composed myself. Intrigued I continued the conversation. This poor gentleman had driven his lawnmower too near the edge of his pond and it had rolled in.

Now imagine the really embarrassing situation when his wife came home to find him staring into the pond. "What on earth are you doing?" she asked. "Looking for my lawnmower", he replied. "No, what are you really doing?" "I'M REALLY LOKING FOR MY LAWNMOWER". It was at this point she noticed a small oil slick and tiny bubbles coming from the middle of the pond. It was at this point I think she REALLY believed him.

In response to his call, I called Mr Shrek, knowing that he was not far from the location and we both arrived as soon as we could. It was difficult to hide our smirks!

I politely enquired (still smirking) if he had a manual. At this point I noticed his face changed to a "what the F*%^ does he want the manual for, I want him to recover it not fix it underwater" expression. I explained that we needed to visualise the mower and identify where we could secure the lifting bags and towing ropes as we expected the viz to be less than 20 metres. This seemed to put him at ease.. almost.

Our experiences at Dosthill had put us good stead for what was to be a zero viz dive. Once in the water, using a long rope, we "trawled" the pond until we snagged the mower. Initially the viz was excellent, about 10 cm. However, this soon closed in and even my 100w HID light sabre struggled. We were just 4m down, but more like the equivalent depth and visibility of the bottom of Dostill on a dark winter's day!

My delayed SMB was used to mark the mower's position and ropes were then secured to the bank. The mower had sunk deep into the clay/mud. It took two 100 Kg lifting bags to free it from the mud which was reluctant to let it go. Fortunately our distressed lawnmower owner had access to a ruddy great tractor which he used to tow the beleaguered lawnmower out of the pond.

Little harm was done to the lawnmower unlike the irreparable damage to its owners pride! However, he did make a nice tidy donation to the club funds.

FAB, Lino

International (Lawnmower) Rescue